Marriage in Autumn

Backpacks, alarm clocks, carpool lines: autumn reminds us that marriage, like life, is full of transitions. What feels like loss can actually prepare the way for deeper love.

“There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens: a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1–2)

As Labor Day passes and the rhythm of autumn settles in, we begin to notice change all around us. Children pack their backpacks and head off to school (some skipping with joy, others dragging their feet), and parents make endless trips to Staples and Target for supplies. College students load up cars, parents wipe away tears, and households adjust to new schedules.

The carefree pace of summer gives way to crisp mornings, shorter days, and the quiet beauty of turning leaves. Nature itself is a reminder that life never stands still; it moves in seasons.

Autumn carries with it a paradox: it is both a season of harvest and of letting go. We gather the fruits of what has been sown, but we also face the ache of change. There is gratitude for what we have built, and at the same time, the sadness of carefree beach days and sleeping late giving way to alarm clocks, school bus stops, and carpool pickup lines. Routines shift, holidays approach, and a new year quietly appears on the horizon. It seems like we just put the Christmas décor away.

Psychologically, transitions stir up a mix of joy, loss, and anticipation. Spiritually, autumn invites us to the virtue of detachment. The trees let go of their leaves in a blaze of beauty, not as an ending but as preparation for what is to come. In the same way, God calls us to trust that what feels like loss can become the very soil where new life will grow.

Seasons of Marriage

• Preparing for Marriage: Autumn is a season of pruning. Couples are invited to release self-centered habits and unrealistic expectations, making space for the self-gift that marriage requires. This season is about preparing the soil of your heart so that love can truly flourish.

• Newlyweds: The first years bring their own letting go. Autumn means shedding the illusion of perfection and embracing the real, daily work and joy of loving another person (including the mystery of how socks never make it to the hamper).

• Couples Raising Kids: Every autumn brings transitions: new school years, shifting schedules, and the endless shuffle of piano lessons, sports practices, ballet classes, playdates, and birthday parties. There is pride and joy in watching children grow, but also the exhaustion and the ache of letting go a little more each year.

• Empty Nesters: Autumn may feel most poignant here. The house grows quieter, routines shift, and couples are invited to rediscover each other with more time and freedom than before. And while the kids may be gone, the joy of grandchildren often arrives: a new kind of harvest, full of delight, without quite as many sleepless nights.

The Grace of Letting Go

In the life of faith, letting go is never just about loss. Jesus reminds us:

“Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit.” (John 12:24)

Autumn teaches us this lesson in vivid color. What looks like an ending often becomes the beginning of something new, something more fruitful than we imagined.

In marriage, autumn invites us to pause and ask:

• What are we being called to release in this season?

• What fruits are we invited to gather with gratitude?

• How might God be preparing us for deeper growth through change?

Embracing the Season

“God has made everything appropriate to its time, but has put the timeless into their hearts…” (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

This autumn, as routines shift and life picks up pace, let us remember that marriage is meant to grow and change. When couples lean into the discomfort that comes with transitions, life becomes less about clinging to what was and more about discovering what God is unfolding now. Autumn reminds us that beauty often comes with surrender, and when embraced with trust, every stage of marriage becomes a season of growth and grace.

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